I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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