Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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