Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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