I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
