smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He felt like a one man threesome
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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