i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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