Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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