Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I checked into jail on foursquare
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
