Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
