Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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