Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
