The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
