If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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