I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
