And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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