I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
