Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
