toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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