yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize