we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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