Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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