There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
