yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
