I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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