I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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