He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
