he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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