So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
is it fun? or sober?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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