just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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