make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
