So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
