why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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