Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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