I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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