you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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