this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
