How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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