I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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