Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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