I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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