I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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