i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
