yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
