It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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