I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
