i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Of course I have a pirate flag
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
