You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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