Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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