Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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