Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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