Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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