How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
