How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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