plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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