STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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