My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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