It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
