I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize