Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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