remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
