PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
