i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.