Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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(607): View more from New York

i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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(661): View more from California

Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

(1-661): View more from California

What the hell did you do last night?!

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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(213): View more from California

If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude

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(630): View more from Illinois

I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"

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(863): View more from Florida

So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.

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