i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?