Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
