Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?

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(804): Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no? http://tfl.nu/9ccj

Replies (12) Good night (1043) Bad night (635)
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(607): View more from New York

so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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(607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5

Replies (50) Good night (788) Bad night (4801)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

(573): View more from Missouri

Successful day.

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(512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom

Replies (26) Good night (4491) Bad night (1377)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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(704): He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/j8z9

Replies (32) Good night (6009) Bad night (3755)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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(+44): Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea. http://tfl.nu/w3ht

Replies (6) Good night (2955) Bad night (926)
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(407): View more from Florida

If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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(407): If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life. http://tfl.nu/zp1p

Replies (11) Good night (1028) Bad night (2570)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink

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(570): I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink http://tfl.nu/d7kc

Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (933)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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(615): i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at. http://tfl.nu/fdq1

Replies (2) Good night (1858) Bad night (745)
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(619): View more from California

He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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(619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs

Replies (6) Good night (3112) Bad night (710)
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(567): View more from Ohio

i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand

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(567): i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand http://tfl.nu/mvlp

Replies (4) Good night (2145) Bad night (754)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.

(303): View more from Colorado

That's all I've ever wanted.

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(307): I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up. (303): That's all I've ever wanted. http://tfl.nu/ydlb

Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (521)
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(972): View more from Texas

Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

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(972): Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff. http://tfl.nu/rug2

Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (382)
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(309): View more from Illinois

All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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(309): All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk. http://tfl.nu/b2p3

Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (396)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band

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(503): I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band http://tfl.nu/jb22

Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (530)
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(254): View more from Texas

We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)

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(254): We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :) http://tfl.nu/s9j9

Replies (8) Good night (825) Bad night (387)

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