Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures