Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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  (646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql
  Replies (2) Good night (1251) Bad night (457)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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  (414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6
  Replies (32) Good night (7050) Bad night (808)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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  (425): He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party. http://tfl.nu/pnyn
  Replies (21) Good night (1875) Bad night (7594)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (3986) Bad night (994)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1049) Bad night (2150)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3071) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (3836) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child

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  (207): Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child http://tfl.nu/qzf1
  Replies (4) Good night (2791) Bad night (631)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning

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  (808): I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning http://tfl.nu/745i
  Replies (8) Good night (689) Bad night (2372)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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  (520): I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/u2a7
  Replies (5) Good night (1469) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.

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  (515): We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all. http://tfl.nu/if2m
  Replies (9) Good night (2186) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (963) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out

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  (717): Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out http://tfl.nu/4ixo
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (163)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club

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  (402): Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club http://tfl.nu/zpvq
  Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing

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  (651): Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing http://tfl.nu/82bp
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (159)

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