let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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