Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
