have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
