how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
