I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
