he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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